This satirical article written by The Onion makes fun of know-it-all consumers striving to be independent in the market setting. The article uses a biting, and mocking tone to convey the satire of the piece to the audience. The article appeals to logic by using names, ages, and quotes such as, "No thanks" to describe the news story. Words mocking the consumer can be found throughout the article such as crawling back, his tail between his legs, unfounded confidence, and barely able to raise his head to look. the article combines the rhetorical strategies to further prove his claim. This article was posted recently, and is a common occurrence in shops and store in various parts of the world. This article from The Onion is very effective in getting the point across that sometimes consumers can be too headstrong.